Know what? Feels pretty good.
Reflecting on Forty years
Normally, I don’t put much stock in birthdays. But today is a different. Today I turn 40. For me, it’s a milestone marked with joy, sadness, creativity, dramas and pure bliss. No one should be so fortunate.
40 years ago, I was born in a warm tropical climate, into a special family. My Grandparents raised 12 children to be good, honest, kind people. Alas, my Grandfather (who I share my middle name with) died before we could meet. My Gran, carried on his legacy with the help of a grieving family. Supporting each other. Loving each other as families are supposed to do.
My mother found that out herself, when her first marriage ended, leaving her with 2 young boys and pregnant with a baby girl. At 3, my young my body was not prepared for Winter. But along with her mother, brothers, sisters and young children, my mom leaped into the unknown for a chance at a better life in Canada.
My mom is in the polka dots:
My mom tells me that when we landed in Toronto in February, I refused to put on a snowsuit. But after one step in front of the automatic door to the cold Canadian Wind, I knew that I was far from the warm sea. That feeling has stayed with me my entire life. I miss it.
We all lived the traditional Canadian Immigrant story. Too many people living in a tiny town house with only love to keep them going. I could remember a feeling of separation from my father. A sadness that was replaced when my mom met a great guy who lived a couple doors down. They fell in love with each other. After they married, we moved in with him and he gave me what I needed more than anything: A Father. A real one. Love you pop. And I love you Mom for choosing such a great guy to share your love and life with.
My brothers and sister are very precious to me. How lucky I am. Truly. And for those who have passed, I miss you every day. Gerald. Gran.
I have seen things. I’ve gone places. I’ve had some adventures. All and all, it’s been a great ride so far.
All good things…
I’ve lost some friendships along the way. Some things are just not meant to last I suppose. Like it or not, they have all left a mark on my soul. I learned something from each. I’m leaving that all behind in my thirties along with any regrets. I’m certainly not everyone’s cup of tea. Know what – I’m actually alright with that.
And if I have ever offended you or rubbed you the wrong way: sorry. Hanging on to those feelings are pointless, because that guy is long gone. I’m pulling a “Command-Z” and starting fresh. Not New Years Eve Fresh either. A whole new chapter.